“To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
Why is it that the stereotypes of business leaders are often of angry, aggressive, testosterone-driven thugs in suits?
As well as his brilliance Steve Jobs was known for his short temper and outbursts of contempt to those around him, the now disgraced Harvey Weinstein was well known in Hollywood for his aggressive behaviour.
Rupert Murdoch who infamously fired 6000 workers in one day and ran operations in a ‘prison-like’ environment is another example of the narcissistic leader.
There’s plenty more examples of this kind of behaviour within the CEO world but is this really a trait needed to succeed. It certainly hasn’t stopped these guys from success.
Or has it, it wasn’t until Steve Jobs was older and had returned to apple after being fired from his own company that he delivered some of his most moving speeches and best work.
Harvey Weinstein is now up on many counts of Sexual harassment charges and Rupert Murdoch while a billionaire has complained of the monopoly that Google now has for directing eyes to their prefered news stories and adverts, kind of ironic!
So while Aggression can help you gain power over others in the form of bullying and even create monetary gains, it comes from a place of insecurity which itself comes from fear.
Fear being the last feeling you would associate with Success!
Fight, Flight or freeze is the body’s response to fear, you get tunnel vision, your blood rushes to your heart leaving your arms feeling like jelly and your mind is focused on one thing survival of the self.
It’s a primitive way to live!
Most of us have had varying degrees of pain in our lives, and we also have different degrees of interpretation of that pain.
Often to become successful we need to have a chip on our shoulder, there needs to be an obstacle to overcome, when life is too easy we procrastinate we seek more pleasures and end up making life harder for our self, the same is true of some great leaders they have transformed their pain into passion.
But there is also many who even after overcoming that pain they still hold that pain, that fear and don’t know how to let go once the danger is gone!
These people get attached to their new power as if its actually their identity and become too afraid to let go!
Instead of becoming one with the pain and suffering and letting it be free we suppress it.
It then tries to escape in anger or resentment or bitterness.
We try and cover it up with external ‘success gremlins’ like fame, money or followers, cars and boats even unhealthy relationships with food, entertainment even sex.
We get from life what we give, in fact, we often get more than we give which is a massive shock to our ego, the ego or ‘success gremlin’ wants to take.
But its when we give, when we open up and when we become vulnerable to life that positive experiences start becoming abundant.
99% of the world is positive. Yet we put 99% of our focus on the 1%, the negativity, and magnify it.
We too often focus on the ”what ifs”, and the ”me firsts”, but only when we really start giving ourselves unconditionally to others can we can genuinely find success.
What kind of a leader do you aspire to be?